Senseless.

Let me start out by saying that I was ready to leave work about 5 minutes after I came into work. It has been an incredibly slow day and I am just trudging through it. I've read more articles on celebrities than I'd care to admit. I'm constantly checking Facebook for something interesting to be posted (all my friends are failing me.) I've also went into super creeper mode and magically stalked my ex husband and ex friend's facebooks. I've daydreamed about reading my books this evening. All the while listening to my instrumental station on Pandora.
Then I realized that it was lunch time.
That's how much time is hating me.  But for my lunch break, I went to Target (or Tarjhey, for us classy folk) and bought a shirt and a couple pairs of mom shorts. (The shorts that manage to show most of your leg and still manage to scream "I HAVE KIDS!" to the world. I may feel this way because I am a curvy woman and I am not a fan of the cellulite that shows while I am in teeny teenager shorts that actually look like underwear. I'm a mom, I call them mom shorts.) I'm pretty pumped. I also picked up the kids' Easter shoes (I bought their Easter clothes at Target earlier this week) (I have a Target problem. My office's close proximity to Target does not help my addiction.) Then I came back to work with my yogurt parfait and apple slices (I was too busy shopping to eat, I grabbed them at the Target cafe on my retreat to the car.) and looked over a couple contracts, assigned some people, thought about typing some stuff up, and instead got on Pinterest.
Which, by the way, failed me this morning.

I attempted to curl my hair and apparently my hair was too damp or 7 hours of sleep wasn't long enough, but when I unpinned my hair, I just had still-damp, unattractively wavey hair. I didn't think to take a picture of it this morning, I just brushed it and pulled it into a side ponytail. My hair seems a little unruly and voluminous (okay, okay, frizzy and poofy) because of it. I don't know if it was my fault, or my hair is just the wrong type for this little shindig.

How boring, I know. But I at least wrapped the hair tie in hair, because according to Pinterest, it's the easiest way to spice up a ponytail.
But, as you can see, I don't even have make up on today... that's how much I care.
...
I should have done my make up in the six hours I was being completely useless.
ha. ha. ha.
Oh well.
I'm going to go bug Cody in the back, and hopefully by the time he kicks me out, it'll be time to go home!!!
Have a lovely weekend!
-B

Reggaeton Happiness

Little secret, I listen to Reggaeton music when I'm in a good mood. It's that fun spanish music that white girls think of when they think of Zumba classes at the Y. Think... Don Omar's Danza Kuduro at the end of Fast 5. It's awesome, makes you want to dance and I love it. A lot. Most people who catch me listening to it look at me suspiciously, almost like I'm too white to listen to it. And I am. I have no idea what they're saying. They could be talking about murdering and eating dogs and I wouldn't know, I'd just know it makes me want to move my hips... Or try, because everyone know that white girls' hips just don't move like everyone else's. I look like a drunk chicken, I'm sure.
OH WELL. I just don't care. I am awesome and in my head, I look sexy.
Speaking of sexy, check it out.

I tried new hair today! (Again, because it looked easy as heck and I like easy. Come on, twisting my hair and bobby pins. It doesn't really get easier than that. And I can never get messy buns to look messy without wearing a regular bun all day and letting life make it messy for me. But who has time for that? I do most of my hair stylings in my car!

Well, at first I looked like the female version of Alfalfa...

Try number 2 make me feel like a cinnamon roll....
Until I pulled and twisted and shook my head a few times and I look almost perfectly messy with this twisty easy bun.

I have also stumbled upon pinspired hair GOLD, I tell you.
Don't believe me?
Check out The Fashion Diva's website. Seriously, I am in love.

anyway, Omega (still spanish) is calling for me to shake my hips while trying to figure out how to rearrange the office... The Pixar Booth is staring at me, so I might just try that out a little too.

Have a Terrific Thursday!
<3 Brittany

Pink, Glitter && Braids.

Okay, So. Rhys's birthday party went swimmingly, if I do say so myself. I went up and down a ladder about a billion times to hang decorations on the ceiling, but it was pretty sweeeet. The kids all colored and Rhyssie got covered in cake, and I had my family and friends there and it was great. None of my in-laws showed up, though, which made me a little sad, but Rhys won't remember her first birthday so I guess I should let it go. Mom was in Colorado with my newest nephew, Dad had massage class, Ashley had to watch Smallville with Tyler, Heather's phone was broken, Danielle never actually responded, and Rhys didn't really care. Now, I'm finished with that little obsession...
I did hair today.

Pinterest showed me this super long messy braid last night and I loved it. I also figured it shouldn't be too hard, and my office would enjoy the break from top knots I've been wearing. Plus, when the strands of my hair inevitably fall out, it would still look just how it's supposed to. Bonus!!

Nailed itttttt.  I'm just kidding.
a cute little baby braid, since my averagely long hair apparently is short compared to that girl.
I think she may have hair past her butt. Or possibly extensions..... I want hair that long, but I think my hair has decided to stop growing. Next research project is how to grow super long locks.

so after loosening it a little, and I guess it turned out alright. I mean, I like it, I'm wearing it right now, and it was easy. I like easy. Easy is good. Easy is just perfect for someone who has to get three children ready and in the car after sleeping through three alarms and waking up an hour after I mentally told myself I would. Just Perfect, I tell you. I did it sitting at my desk, shortly after I threw some make up on my face and answered a few emails.

Speaking of make up, I use Physician's Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Eyeliner Trio for my eyeliner, (buy it here) I usually just use the unshiney trio, but hey, I like shiney things, so I had to try it.
And let me just say, I love it. I love love love love it. It makes my near black-brown eyes look like milk chocolate and I think it's lovely. However, the Shimmer part of this liner tends to fall into my eyes and my contacts decide to hate me, and then my eyes water and I spend a few minutes trying not to get mascara on my face from watery eyes. It's not attractive. I'm trying to decide whether I should go back to my regular liner (after this runs out, of course, I spent over $10 on it.) or keep sacrificing my eyeballs.
I guess I have to ponder this for a month or two.

   
anywho, I'm going to eat some tiny powdered donuts and get some work done.
                                   <3 B.

Packed Car and Impatient Brittany

It's Friday, which means I can go watch Divergent tonight, and since I want to go watch it, I can't help but count down. Like... right now it's 11 hours and 15 minutes. I'm not excited or anything ;) I intend to pick my children up from daycare, run to Little Ceasar's and pick up a few five dollar pizzas, then go to Dollar Tree and grab drinks and chips and things. I packed the car this morning, so we'll go straight to the drive in. Because I want a good spot and it's the first showing of Divergent, so the screen will sell out. I'm not going to sit in line all day to get turned away... or watch Mr. Peabody and Sherman/The Lego Movie... again. The kids would probably like it better than Divergent/300 Rising (or whatever, I call it 300 2) but I'm pretty insistent on watching Divergent. My baby cousin and her beau may be joining us (I say baby cousin, she's old enough to drive and have a boyfriend who's a year younger than I am) and my ginger brother (we can call him Kyle, but he's already stolen my soul, so I call him the Ginger. Feel free to join me) if he gets off work on time. After Friday is over, it's Saturday, which means I'm DJing my first wedding reception by myself. I mean, I've DJ'd other receptions, but with supervision, and I've done loads of parties, but this is my first actual wedding reception, and I'm slightly nervous, but I'm sure I'll be alright. Sunday means Rhyssie's birthday party! I've been toting around pink princess decorations in my car for a week, that's how excited I am! :D Of course, I'll be tired from DJing on Saturday night, and stressed just because that's how throwing birthday parties is. But she'll have fun :)

AND NOW... on to other news!

I did this to my hair. Kind of.

I didn't have a big enough sock and my hair is too long... Plus I was rushed and didn't have time or patience to figure out the braid part of this so my hair looks like a weird donut/birds nest.
But hey, pinspired, so I think it counts. And I got close. I can already tell you that there will be some disasters coming soon if I try all the hair styles I pin. I'm not awesome, I can't even french braid my own hair, and I can barely french braid anyone else's. Or Waterfall braid. Or fishbones. Or curl my hair with a straightener. Really, this will be an interesting journey for me to go on, since, well, my idea of doing my hair has always been ponytail. But here, be pinspired.
Feel free to share your magnificent successes or devastating mishaps from ideas off Pinterest, I am interested to see how this plays out. Email me your pictures & stories herrrre ;)

Anywho, I'm going to go pretend I'm working.

I Know What You're Thinking

And no, I didn't do anything pinterspired with my hair this morning. I put it in a side braid, after I brushed it. I blame this mostly on being at Steffie's house when I woke up (slumber party was a huge success, btw - the kids had a blast, we had a blast too) We watched Frozen and discussed pregnancy and babies and adoption a lot. And our old standby - Harry Potter. Which brings me to my next life changing issue...
I have never ever been on Pottermore. And I know, this may seem like a small thing, but seriously, I always thought I'd be a Ravenclaw, but what if I'm not?? What if I'm a Slytherin, like Steffie? OMG, NO.
I've decided to remedy this soon. But not too soon, because I'm reading two book series at the same time...

the first:

 The Matched Trilogy

I am an avid reader. No, I'm more than that, I devour books that I find interesting, but OMG these are so good. Ally Condie did such a magnificent job at writing these, I read the first and second books each in less than three hours. I am staring at Reached because I have this wary feeling that someone I love is going to die and I just can't handle that. I'll probably finish it tonight, so I can start on...

the second book of an unwritten 10 book series.

Its the sequel to the one Cody lent me on Valentine's Day. I should have known better, he likes to give me books in unfinished series. It's a trait that makes me homicidal. If I am given a book, I better be able to finish the whole series shortly after. I haven't cracked it open yet, because I was handed it a few hours ago. But I keep looking at it, and thinking about how I need to read it. Now. But. I won't, because tomorrow night, I'm going to watch

which is another book series I highly recommend. (Divergent Trilogy) I find the end of the trilogy lacking, but I suppose that's just life. I actually threw a fit at the end, I was piiiiissed. But I also think it's a good thing, that Veronica Roth is able to get me so emotionally tied into a book series. I am very anxious to see how the movie is interpreted.
Examples of books that were turned into movies.
good:
Hunger Games
Perks of Being a Wallflower
bad:
The Host

Twilight
I am really just hoping Divergent gets filed under good.

Anywho, off to do real work
<3 B.

Mad Dash

I feel the need to let you all know that I haven't brushed my hair in a couple of days. This happens often, actually. My hair is pretty straight, so if I wake up in the morning and forget to brush it, no one can tell.
Except yesterday, I was sick. I won't go into details, but I will say that I couldn't stray too far from the bathroom. The kids all had it too, but since their bodies are tiny, they got over it faster than I did. (Brittany Logic. Don't question it.)
so, sick Brittany spent most of the day laying on the couch with sick children, and running to the bathroom. Laying down all day on long hair doesn't make for a pretty thing. Then I showered last night. I turned the water on, undressed, reached for my hairbrush and realize Rhyselle (the birthday girl) carried it off while trying to brush her little bald head earlier. Since I am lazy and still not feeling 100% I just said eff it, and got in the shower, got out and got in bed. This morning, I slept through my first three alarms and then jumped out of bed, threw clothing at my toddlers, got dressed, got a diaper for my sweet monkey baby (she's started grunting and doing weird monkey chatter, like Tarzan) threw her in her carseat, ran out the door, picked up formula, dropped off brother #3 and the babies, and came to work. Well, when I woke up, my hair was wavy and awesome, but by the time I got to work, I looked like I tried to rat my whole head into an afro.... and it was not afro-tastic. I pulled it up and stuck a clip in it and now I'm aware that my pony tail feels like a colony of bees have taken up residence in it. Gross. I guess this is one of those learning moments... I'm 21 and I still have to consciously remind myself to brush my hair. I suck. How is Xia ever going to achieve awesome hair status in high school if I can't even brush mine?
I feel like this is a new year's resolution... in March. Brush my hair every day...
That's kind of weak.
I think that I will change my first quarter resolution to try a different tutorial on Pinterest everyday.
Even if it's just brushing it, because come on. I'm a single mother of three. I get tired and fall asleep at 8pm watching Bones on Netflix. But I will do my best. Maybe even document it ;)

In other news. Rhys turned one yesterday and the poor baby was sickly all day. She did, however, get to eat a cupcake, by herself, which she loved... Until I stuck her in the bathtub. Poor (not really) baby. She just hates bath time. I don't know why, but she just hates it. But I think overall, her birthday was pretty okay. We watched a lot of my little pony and I didn't try to convince her to eat real people food for a whole day. I think she'd rate it as a win based on that fact alone.

Well, I've successfully spent the last ten minutes of my work day writing this. Now it's off to pick up my chillun, brush my hair, and pack for a slumber party at my loser best friend's. (Her husband left her alone for a few days for work stuff, so we're going to keep her and her little monster some company. Too bad she's preggo and can't drink or it'd be a real slumber party.

Party on, little animals.
-B

TGIF?

I had a very mediocre week. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't good. I was under pressure and in time crunches, and I was exhausted because of the stupid time change (every year around this time I decide to move to Arizona or Hawaii. Every year, except, well, I'm still living here, and not in Arizona or Hawaii, so I suppose my resolutions aren't firm)
We got this stupid photo booth in

Just look how stupid this thing looks. I refuse to call it a photo booth. I actually call it the Pixar Lamp. It just looks Pixar-Lamp-y.

click play. Just do it.

Look at that. It murdered the I. What did the I do!? Nothing. Well that's how I feel about this "photo booth" it's a hope crusher. A dream murderer. It's a different software program than my other booths. And I tried to set it up last night and it went stupid on me and the screen wouldn't register my finger touching it. And it was playing a really awful rock guitar music stuff that I couldn't stand, but I COULDN'T TURN THE DANGED THING OFF. So, after trying to follow the owner manual and a failed attempt at reaching I did the first thing they teach you not to do in computer class... I just unplugged it. And now it's just sitting there, staring at me.
It's not a happy thing.
My boss has more confidence in me than I have in myself. And he's also certain that I can do everything related to computers, and that is so incorrect I cannot even begin to explain. When these problems arise, I just tell him "I can't" and he says "quitter" or "you're whining" or "you're just being lazy" which makes me angry and I usually sit in the bathroom doing breathing exercises so I don't commit homicide.
And this stupid pixar lamp is a hundred times worse than "I can't." It's an "I can't, I don't want to learn how, and f*** that." So maybe I am a lazy whining quitter, but I also have other stuff to do than worry about the stupid, incredibly complex and difficult, dream crushing pixar lamp.
So I turned it a little to face Leslie's desk instead, so I don't feel like it's staring at me.
Immature and odd? Yes, yes I am. I don't care, either.
So, thank goodness it's Friday. I'm looking forward to not seeing that stupid pixar lamp at all this weekend :) and I don't have to work! :) I'm thinking drive in tonight, engagement party tomorrow, and Netflix Sunday, since it's supposed to be cold.
I hope you have a good weekend!!
<3 B

Pain and Sunshine

Every time someone sees Kam, they always say he looks just like Shayne. I see it. And not just aesthetically. I see it in all of him. I see Shayne in his smile, in his laughter. I see it there when he's going to something to make me laugh, or when I catch him doing something he shouldn't. But it hurts, you know? Here's this precious little boy, that I've raised alone for two thirds of his life, and all I can see is my ex husband. I find myself praying that Kam gets my sense of compassion, that he cares how he makes people feel. That I can raise him to respect every woman and not just the one he's in love with at the time. I pray that this beautiful, smart, infuriating little trouble maker gets his father's height, charisma and good looks, but none of his personality. I pray for Rhys too. Every time someone says she looks just like Kam, or when they say she made a "Kam face." Because she's my baby, I've raised her with the help of my family and a daycare, but generally alone. I'm the only parent she's ever had.
And I sometimes I hate that I pray for that, because at one time, I was completely in love with their father. I tried so hard that I ended up sacrificing who I was just trying to keep our fragile little family together, trying to keep my babies' daddy in their lives because they deserve two parents that love them. But they also deserve two happy parents.
It took me a very long time to realize that. Even now, I have to remind myself of it. That they deserve to see their parents happy, whether it is together or in different houses. Even if they never see Shayne again, they will see me, trying my best for them, and finding happiness in the big things and the small. They will hear about the good times, the times before everything went to shit and I was left alone. I won't say a single word against my children's father to any of them.
Why? Because he is always going to be a part of them. Even if he hadn't seen then in a year. Even if they've stopped asking where he is. Even if he turns out to be the huge jerk I know right now for the rest of his life.
But I hope he pulls it together. For their sakes, I hope he does. Because I can't begin to describe the absolute joy on Xiaden's face when she sees her daddy. Because I can't stand the pain that rips through my heart when Kam runs up to random men yelling daddy because he can't remember Shayne's face. Because I know that Rhyssie needs to meet her daddy, and have just one good memory. (No offense, Steffie) (that's another story IF you don't know it.)
I will always try to be enough for them. I'm sure when they think back on their childhoods, they'll realize I want just completely crazy. That I did my best and I love them, even after two years of "the terrible two's." That every time I locked myself in the bathroom, it wasn't their fault. That when I call them weirdos, I was always proud of it. I'll always try to be enough, and when they're older, I hope they realize it. That I gave up my body, my sanity and at times, my bed, to make sure they were healthy and well looked after. I hope they appreciate that they were raised to say yes ma'am and yes sir and to be free thinkers, even if I thought they were nuts. That I support them and most of their decisions.
Because they are the sun in my sky. The thing that lights up my life, that makes life worthwhile. They remind me too slow down and have fun, that being a little late is okay sometimes, that it's okay to cry.
My babies, they've shaped me into who I am. I am so grateful. Yes, it would have been easier if I waited until later in life. Yes, it would be easier if I were married, or had a coparent that cared.
But I read somewhere that if it's easy, it isn't worth it.
(:

Tata.
-B

Suckage

When I started this blog, I told myself that I'd write at least twice a week. I thought about doing it daily, but I knew that was an unattainable goal, especially with wedding season picking up. Then there's the impending doom of starting college in the fall. That may, in fact, be the death of this blog, all my musings. College may crush all time spent tapping away at the ingeniousness that is this blog type thing. Because really, being a single mom with a full time job is time consuming enough. Being a single mom with a full time job and classes with homework? I feel like my death may come as swiftly as the doom of this blog. (Speaking of doom, I have to file my taxes. But I don't want to. Because then, the demon that is the FAFSA will be the next in my line of conquests.)
Anyway, I finally found the time to finish the book Cody lent me on Vday. It was brilliant. One of those books you finish at 3 am on a work night, but you don't care, because you're so sucked into the book that all sense of timing is lost. One of those books that you are so excited about that when major plot revelations occur, you can't help but text someone who's read it going "WHAT?!" It's one of Those. (The Way of Kings by Brian Sanderson. I know it looks super lame, because I thought it was super lame at first, but it's actually amaaaaazing.)
I also shadowed Reed (bossman) on one of his weddings. Because I'm a DJ, but I usually only do little things. Like little kid parties or company Christmas parties where everyone is so smashed they don't even care about what's playing. Those kinds of things. But, Reed has decided that I'm enough of a people person and I know the music and brides well enough that I could do weddings now. He held me off for a long time, I think it's because I have a super dry sense of humor and it rubs people the wrong way. But now I keep my snarky comments and hilarious jokes to myself, and I think he thinks I've changed, but I'm actually exactly the same, but smarter about being the same... If that makes sense. So, my first wedding should be on April 12th. YAY.
Actually, I'm nervous and scared senseless, but the good thing about working in the office is that I actually meet every single bride that comes in. The fact that I'm in charge of assigning DJs and placing everyone helps, too.
Anyway, enough about work and such.
MY BABY IS TURNING ONE IN 15 DAYS.

one of my many pictures of Baby R I shot for her invitations. She's so big.

My mom and two of my aunts may have to abandon her party because of Jesus, but who can blame them for that? (Me. I can. I am unfortunately petty enough to be upset about this.)
Momma wants me to push the time back a couple of hours so everyone can be there, but that would require feeding the masses, and unlike Jesus, I can't turn a loaf of bread and a couple o' fish into a meal. I'd actually have to prepare that nonsense. That's hard. I picked the perfect time on the best day, and I have all the envelopes sealed, addressed and waiting for stamps.
I'm now faced with redoing the invitations, readdressing all the envelopes, and making food to have three very important people present, or let them sing songs of God's praise whilst I am smashing my adorable daughter's face into a princess cake.

Oh, the difficult decisions of birthday parties.
I'm still not sure what I'm going to do, which isn't so bueno, since I have less than three weeks to the party, and I have to make preparations, one way, or another.

I'm going to contemplate the ways of life, now.

Until next time, lovers.

Brittany