that one time I accused Shelly of hating circle food.

 Shelly: like grapes.
Me: ...
Shelly: Green grapes.
Me: ...
Shelly: Mashed.
Shelly: And aged.

Shelly: ...

Shelly: It's wine. I like wine.
Shelly: I like pepperonis!
Me: No tomatoes. No olives. No kiwi.
Shelly: Olives are like ovals. 

Me: Not when you cut them up.

Shelly: Potatoes are round!

Me: No potatoes can be shaped like... Australia or something. (Click those links, I dare you.)

and we lost it at Australia.

I really should start wearing one of those eye glasses cameras that exist so I can capture the magic of the moments I spend with this freak.

I'm just saying.

Comedy gold.

I am just honestly too lazy to write a blog so that's what you're getting tonight.

5 THINGS!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay a 5 things blog.

You know, when I tell you 5 things I like.
It's good fun.
Shall we start? Fantastic!

1. This eyeliner

I'm telling you, this shizz is magic. Goes on beautifully, stays on all day. It's amazing. I like it way better than liquid eyeliner & pencils seem to fade after a few hours. plus, this stuff is like 3 dollars. I got mine from a 7-11. Lol. It's my favorite :D

2. These bridesmaid dresses

I already told shelly she's gonna be rocking one. <3  I'll have my imaginary wedding in winter just so all of my friends will wear the long shinny dresses

3. This video

the song is so catchy! I love it. And all the stupid cute people. UGH they're so cute I CAN'T STAND IT.

4. These books

OMG they're so good. I didn't think I'd like them and sometimes I just wanted to shake girlfriends head off. But its alright. I just bought the next one. 

5. This tattoo <3

I mean.... It's so pretty. And it makes sense! 

KIK

I meet people on various apps (meet me, tinder, whisper, etc) and I use kik to talk to them. I talk to people all over. actually. Itally, England, Scotland, Canada, Iowa. Kik is an internet texting app, so I don't have to give them my number and I maintain privacy. Good fun.

Until someone posts your ID on a sex website and you get literally 83 pictures of penises from around the globe. It was insane.

I don't understand what that person gained from doing that.
I mean... satisfaction? I think not. It was overwhelming and slightly hilarious. Especially my comments back to them. I am quite witty and clever ;) Some of them immediately apologized. Some guys never responded. Some struck up casual conversation, as if I had not seen their naughty bits moments earlier.
This isn't the first time this has happened.

but hey, if you just enjoy screwing with me for the sake of screwing with me, you should know... it doesn't work :)

I suggest you give it up, though.
Because eventually I'll figure it out, and as I have stated before...
I'm witty and clever.