And I'm freaking hilarious.
Let me tell you, the running dialogue in my head is amusing to say the least. I will ask opinions from people around me (my baby cousin is one of them) and then sit there and swipe left a zillion times in a row.
Why?
Let me tell you reasons I've actually swiped left (said no way)
- oh no, your name is not "Big Pimpin"
- you look like you're twelve
- why are you holding that fish? Not impressed.
- ALL OF YOUR PICTURES ARE GROUPS. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WHERE'S WALDO.
- your name is Norman
- why are you taking pictures in the gym. stop it.
- who are all these women in your pictures?
- hahaha, it says right here you're actually 17. LIAR.
- you look homeless
- you are not cute
- you look creepy
- your about me says you're looking for "fun"
- what does that mean, "a partner in crime but not a partner for life?" No.
- you have more jewelry on than I do.
- none of your pictures show me your face
- you are not heath ledger
- why are you surfing in every single one of your pictures, we are in the desert
- you're not even from here.
- you're old
- you're dating my friend
- you're married to my friend's friend.
- you wrote you're married but looking for fun on your profile
- my brothers name is Kyle
- you are shorter than me
- you're wearing a Cowboys jersey
- you are taking selfies in front of a floral shower curtain
- you won't swipe right on me cuz I'm fat.
- your smile is murder-y
- you are cuter than me.
- dang it you're a smoker
reasons why I've swiped right (said okay)
- oh look you have a cute dog!
- you are tallllllll
- riding a horse, yes.
- look how cute you are with that tiny child!
- YOU'RE A WHOVIAN
- I like your shirt
- you said you just want to buy me tacos and touch my butt.
- yo,u sir, are driving a jeep
- your eyes are pretty
- hahaha you're funny, okay
- I bet you have a cute butt.
- Harry Potter marathons? I'm in.
- you are wearing a bowtie
- I think you might be a whovian...
- OMG TATTOOS.
- I like your hair
- you're cute
- I also love Netflix
- oh man, you look so good with that guitar.
- cowboy hats are a yes
- I think you could probably pick me up
- cheesy pick up line for the win
- you're reading a book in that picture
- what does that even mean? okay, I hope we match because I gotta ask you about that.
- you're British? Why are you in Odessa? Let me love you?
- hahaha, that's a Will Ferrell Quote
- you are wearing a tigger costume and that's great
- you are holding a cat
- you are holding a CAMERA! We should go shoot together.
- I just wanna see if you swipe right on me or not.
There you go.
innerworkings of my brain.
love you guys :)
