Freakishly Fabulous and Fun Fiftieth

I have been thinking about all the things I could write about for today. I had absolutely no suggestions (gee thanks, guys. I wish y'all were more interactive. But you aren't so I had to depend on my own creativity, and the Google.)
I was like, oh, where I want to be in 50 years (but then I realized I want to die at the age of 72 and I think that would be sort of morbid) or 50 things about me (but I did an interview thing last week and so that would be lame of me.) 50 pictures I like (but that's a lot of pictures, plus I kind of did that yesterday) 50 of my favorite people (too much effort. I'm far too lazy.) 50 secrets. But then they wouldn't be secrets, plus I'm not sure I have 50 secrets to keep, so that's out. 50 things I want to do before I die? I liked this one, despite it's morbidity. I liked it, until I realized a few of my bucket list items are illegal or totally inappropriate, so that was out. My mom reads this, you know.
I finally settled on one. And you're going to laugh if you know me, because it perfectly sums up my weirdness, slight pessimism & undeniable hilarity.
So, here we go.

50 things I absolutely Hate.

1. When people ask if my kids are mine.
2. When I'm not carded when I buy drinks.
3. Gum smackers
4. People who automatically hate pit bulls / dobermans / rottweilers because of their breeds
5. Racist, Sexist, gay hating, general judgmental douche bag people
6. Leaving voice mails
7. Checking voice mails
8. Pity
9. People who hate Taco Villa
10. Swimming in lakes
11. Mosquitoes
12. the Verizon ringtone
13. Boring flight attendants
14. Suspicious Chinese food
15. computers that don't spell check
16. improper use of language
17. non-use of punctuation
18. guys that think I'm easy because I'm single and have kids
19. the color of adobe
20. Poorly stocked libraries
21. Fake bacon
22. When guys talk about cars to me
23. Bones in my meat
24. When Cody steals my snacks
25. Oatmeal Raisin cookies
26. Raisins
27. When people expect me to be a mind reader
28. Quoting things out of context
29. Stress
30. Changing plans last minute
31. People who I can't confide in
32. The idea that dogs are put down for hurting children but child molesters aren't.
33. books that focus too much on the love stories
34. movies that don't follow the book story line
35. everyone who dislikes Mama Mia
36. the texture of velvet
37. Xbox
38. When my phone dies and I'm no where near a charger
39. People who don't use turn signals
40. songs that have no lyrical value
41. p33pl wh0 t4lk lyk diss
42. when I miss a text notification
43. Ear infections
44. when you take a shower and there's no shampoo in the bottle
45. housework
46. parents that let their children run rampant in public
47. shoes that don't have arch support
48. women's pant pockets
49. bras
50. the sound windbreakers make when they rub together

Happy 50th, y'all!
</3 Brittany