I am talking to this guy right? His name is Thurston,
Any way, the reason I'm even mentioning Thurston is because he is a distraction.
Like, he's taking time away from my reading and I think it's going to be a problem.
Well, I put my book down (which usually doesn't happen until the book is finished) somewhere and I CAN'T FIND IT. I was more than half way finished and NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. This is what happens when I talk to cute guys. I lose books and then never find out how books end.
However, you should totally read the books. They're great. Well so far. I mean the ending may completely ruin it for me but I doubt that very much. Apparently they are coming out with a movie and I'm pretty freaking pumped. I mean come on, IT HAS SAMUEL L. JACKSON IN IT. It's gotta be good. AND AND AND it's directed by TIM MOTHA TRUCKING BURTON,
Anyway, that little theatrical gem will be hitting theaters September 30th of this year, if anyone would like to be my movie date. If you ask nicely, I may even let you borrow my books... if I ever find the Library of Souls. I mean, I had it Thursday. In the Kitchen. So its definitely around here somewhere...
Boys are nothing but trouble.
haha, well.
It's late. I've given up the search for tonight and I'm nestled in my bed like a hamster. I'm in a blanket bubble because I'm freeeezing.
So good night! Or good morning! Or whatever you feel like saying ;)
I have a very addictive personality. When I like something, I like it so much that I do it all the time.
Like reading.
and calligraphy.
and now...
MINECRAFT.
It's a problem. I'm not going to lie.
A guy I started talking to was like "try it out."
and then after literally banging my head against a wall, laughing at a whole lot of mistakes, I kinda sorta got the hang of it.
And now, I just keep playing it.
I built a giant house.
I HAVE PIGS!
I caught four.... four. and now I have all these cute little piglet babies. I'm in heaven.
I also have horses but they don't really care about me.
the brown one was just a baby last night. They grow up so fast :')
And, Hi I'm brittany so of course I have a library in my minecraft house. It's in the attic. yay.
and guys, I've only been playing this stupid game for like four days. This is my little creative world. The monsters don't attack me but they still freak me out so I spent all night in my library. or my bedroom. Where I could sleep but why would I when I could go around creating things or expanding the cave under my house? Psh.
Well, I'd love to write some more, but I need to go catch some sheep.
Bye!
I just want to write a quick little blurb while my tinies are napping.
just so you're all aware, words that are not in white are either links to the products I bought or links to things I think are relevant. That way you can also buy the things or see the things I have also seen. Enjoy
I've taken up calligraphy as of two months and four days ago. it's pretty great. I thought it was going to be awful so I threw a fit my two year old would have been impressed by when I got my first nib and ink. (Kyle got mine at Hobby Lobby but they're cheaper on Amazon)
I started off with youtube videos and it quickly overtook my pinterest feed as well as my instagram.
I started out with a dip pen. Which is kind of what you think of when you think of the declaration of independence. or harry potter. I guess it depends on what kind of person you are.
So you can get different nibs (or tips) for different styles.
and of course, I ordered a calligraphy set.
and I experimented and played around with those for a while until I got a little better at handling the nibs and the flow of ink.
then I ordered a ink pallette.
I don't know if it's what ink does in general or if it's just speedball, but the speedball inks I have have crazy differing consistencies, and I don't really like that about them. Black seems super watery and thin and it bleeds through everything so easily. But my metallics are super thick and chunky almost, I find myself needing to dip multiple times just to get through one word. The flow from my nib is always different and it's making me crazy. I think I'm going to try out Winsor & Newton inks next.
dip pen mischief from me. let's all keep in mind that I'm new and not great. Stop judging me.
but more recently, like last week, I ordered and received my first brush pen set made by Tombow USA. I'M IN LOVE. Basically these pens are equivalent to a paintbrush that never runs out of ink. This fixes a lot of things. I can control the width of my lines by easy pressure, and I don't have to worry about when to best pick up to get more ink. Plus it flows so much easier. Bonus, the other end is like a fine tip marker so you can always touch up your letters a bit more. Best part? They don't bleed through paper very easily. Which means I can also use them in my adult coloring book that by love Rhonda got me to get bolder pictures.
I love that there are tons of different palettes to choose from with Tombow USA as well. I ordered the Soda Shop pallette too, but it's backordered, so I'll be waiting rather impatiently for those to arrive.
and here's my more recent exploits with my Tombow USA dual brush pens. (it comes with a blending pen, and that's how I got that magical rainbow thing happening with Selena Gomez's Lyrics that have been stuck in my head for a couple weeks)
I honestly use all of my calligraphy stuff on regular old sketchbook paper. I have a packet of parchment I got recently on sale at Barnes and Noble that I love but it's super thin and nearly see through so I'm not sure how often I'll use it.
However, I stumbled upon a hashtag on instagram that said #crayoligraphy.
which is where people have disvoered that regular crayola (and other brands I'm sure) MARKERS can be used similarly to a brush pen (so writing super light on upstrokes and then pressing down pretty hard on down strokes) so I tried it out... AND IT WORKS. Here I am spending money on pro brush pens and I could be using markers. what.
I'd like to take this paragraph to explain that there are tons of different brands out there for both dip pens and brush pens. I have only discovered a few due to lack of funds. I'm sure I'll be experimenting with different brands of both types. I don't foresee my love of hand lettering and modern calligraphy dying out any time soon.
So, that should answer quite a few questions that I've been asked. If you have any more, please comment and I'll try to answer them. I'm still pretty new.
OKAY: DISCLAIMER. I'm just writing. I'm not backspacing or rephrasing, I'm just pulling a Cady Heron and allowing word vomit to present itself on my blog. You're welcome.
Today I mentioned my blog to a cute guy.
and it made me think.
Why did I stop writing?
really, I don't know. I feel like it's mainly because I wasn't really writing anything that anyone would want to read. I just logged into my dashboard (that's what bloggers have, just so you know. a dashboard.) and I have over 7,400 views. I seriously don't know how that happened. I had like, a thousand the last time I remember checking. So obviously I'm hilarious. Or something. And that means I should obviously keep writing on my blog.
I don't really want my blog to die. So I guess in order for that to happen I should really give it a purpose.
Like, should I write about how incredibly crazy it is to be a single mom trying to date people? Because man, I could start screen shotting my conversations and have a book made by next Tuesday.
Or maybe review the insane amounts of books I've been reading? (seriously, it's insane. I've read... hold on I'm counting. 41 books this year.)
In the 56 days (don't check that we all know I failed math) that have happened in 2016. I've read 41 books.
That's more books than most people read in a year...
In two years.
In 15 years, if you're my mother. (Love you ma)
I could review those books. I would have to google how to adequately review books, but I could do it.
DETOUR: Click here to go to my instagram and see the 23 books I read in the month of January. And then creep on the multiple other books I've been reading. And then check out my calligraphy, because I've been practicing. And if you have instagram, follow me, because it makes me feel cool.
CARRY ON: Maybe I should just keep writing about life. The silly things Rhyssie says (I'm not whining just my lips are) or start counting the evergrowing list of ways Kamden gets himself in trouble (seriously, tonight he made himself throw up on purpose to get out of eating dinner. It worked. He won. He's magical. Seriously I was gagging so hard, I'm a useless mom) Or how my Xiaden (who failed kindergarten) is now pretty much on a second grade reading level. (#proudmom) (seriously did I just put a hashtag in my blog?)
who knows. I don't.
I guess I have some thinking to do.
Maybe I'll think about it while I read Hollow City by Ransom Riggs (the second novel of Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children) 'cause it's fantastic.
And text cute guys. 'cause I can.
And continually push Minerva off of my face. 'cause she's a cat and the word "no" doesn't actually exist.
those are the things that I will be doing in between thinking about the fate of this silly little blog of mine.
Mostly because I am a girl who reads. This quote speaks to my soul. It's beautiful. Its long, but it's incredibly worth the read.
So if you're single and ready to mingle, just hit me up. Because I am a girl who reads. I mean, I'd date me.
“You should date a girl who reads.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Today (erm, yesterday?) was the fourth Christmas I spent as a single mom.
That's a crazy thought to wrap my head around, that I've been coordinating multi family Christmas excursions for my littles.
But it's great.
Because I'm no longer in an emotionally abusive relationship.
I'm no longer lacking confidence or self worth.
I'm no longer having panic attacks thinking he'll leave me alone.
Because it's done. Finished. I walked away from a toxic marriage, hoping time apart would heal what we broke and glued back together, that time would allow the glue to do it's work. But instead, the time apart convinced my husband we should never be together.
And I was devastated. I was alone with two children and a baby on the way, and the center of my universe walked out if it.
But in the years that followed, magic happened. I found who I really was as an adult, and I loved myself. I shed the self doubt and self consciousness and embraced who I was. And who I am is a woman who can raise three kids alone. A woman who knows what she wants and refuses to settle for less. A sensitive woman who will not let the world harden her.
That's who I am today.
Four years ago, I was in this bed, mourning my first Christmas alone.
Tonight I'm in this bed, celebrating the person I am because I'm alone.
Tonight, I'm laying in bed, content with who I am.
Tomorrow morning, I will wake up content with who I am.
It took me 23 years to figure it out, but better late than never.
Right?
I love myself.
And I've never been able to say that before.
Obviously I face insecurities and obstacles of my own making. I'm not freaking perfect.
But I'm pretty awesome, and that's pretty cool.
I'm single. I'm alone. And it's pretty liberating!
I've simply been too lazy.
Unmotivated, I'd say.
Simply unmotivated.
Really, what happens nowadays when I decide to write a blog is this:
I start a facebook status and slowly realize that it is simply too long to be a status.
and then, wow! a blog happens.
crazy, isn't it? :)
so.
today I was driving home from my beloved Mema's house with children in tow, and I discovered something.
There are three things that simply make me want to physically run into vehicles operated by idiots.
these are those three things.
actually none of these things bother me. I just love this movie.
One.
Drivers who do not utilize their FREAKING BLINKER.
seriously, it's there for a reason. So if you start to slow down and there is no blinker I'm like, wait, what's going on here. is there a dog in the road? oh no, not the puppy! OH WAIT YOURE JUST TURNING WHAT YOURE AN IDIOT NO. or if you just drift in and out of lanes. that's wrong too.
Two.
Drivers who do not PULL OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WHEN EMERGENCY VEHICLES ARE FLASHING LIGHTS AND WAILING SIRENS AND RUSHING DOWN THE STREET.
If they were dying, or their house was on fire or their child was trapped in a back seat because they were hit by a car that didn't use their blinker, they'd want everyone else to pull over. But since it's not them, they just keep driving. OR EVEN WORSE, THEY JUST STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. No. you pull over. I pull over. We all pull over. It's basically in every driver's ed handbook ever, come on now.
Three.
Drivers who go exactly the speed limit OR SLOWER in the left lane on the highway.
IT'S FOR PASSING. PASSING. YOU ARE NOT LETTING ME PASS ANYONE, YOU ARE A MISERABLE HUMAN BEING. YOUR REPRODUCTIVE CAPABILITIES SHOULD BE TAKEN FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH. IF YOU WANT TO GO THE EXACT SAME SPEED AS THE CAR NEXT TO YOU THEN GET IN FRONT OR BEHIND THEM AND DO IT. DO NOT STOP ME FROM PASSING YOU.
Of course, this can all be compounded by this awful thing:
When all the stations your car has bookmarked (I mean, what's the correct terminology? I press 6 and a country station plays, 3 and it's oldies... it's a bookmark, right?) AND I DO MEAN EVERY SINGLE ONE is simultaneously ON COMMERCIAL.
and your CD is scratched. And you forgot your aux cord in your house.
Hey now, for all of you that are freaking out about that title (ahem, Mema) I just want to point out that I did not purposefully date someone nearly three times my age. But the story makes me laugh.
So, tonight, I was meant to have a date to watch a movie called Crimson Peak. However, after purchasing tickets and getting half way through the line to get popcorn, my totally age appropriate date was unable to stay for personal reasons.
But, well, I had a sitter and the tickets were already paid for... So I stayed.
I bought my own popcorn & went to my seat. As I sat down, a man next to me turns to me and asks "Are you expecting company? I think I might have the wrong row."
I shrugged, and simply said "he couldn't make it in, so you're fine" and started watching the previews.
Apparently the conversation wasn't quite over.
He tells me, "His loss. My girlfriend wouldn't come. She watched the trailer and had to close her eyes!" And I said something along the lines of "oh, I didn't watch the trailer." That's when I suspected that I had made a gross mistake. I'm a pansy. I just saw the name "Tom Hiddleston" and said yes...
He says to me "ha! I asked my coworkers to come, and they both said no too, so I'm going it alone."
Oh dear, Christ. I should get up and leave now. But do I? No. No, I laugh! and I settle back into my chair.
He says "Man, I hope I don't scream. It's gonna be good though."
Shit. I make a mental note to watch every movie trailer I ever intend to see ever. Who cares about Tom Hiddleston and his beautiful face. I'm going to die in here.
The movie starts, and he talks through it, but not enough to be annoying. He comments on plot twists and chuckles every time I jump in my seat or gasp. It's great, feels like watching a movie with Kyle. Tylor & Mom are pansies like me.
I only tried to crawl out of my chair once.
But at the end of the movie, he says "Well, we didn't scream." And I laughed, and say "Oh, but I sure did try to run away." and this guy tells me "yeah, I noticed. But hey, thanks for being my date tonight darlin'. I have to watch a scary movie every year around Halloween to make sure I still got it in me."
And I'm thoroughly amused. I wanna be this guy when I grow up
I tell him as we walk out "Well, I'm gonna go home and watch a few hours of Disney princesses before I can go to sleep tonight." and he just laughs the entire way down the hall. He says "you got a good system there girl. Maybe I'll see ya next year."
and awkward Brittany waves and says "I sure hope so!"
I'm just that cool, ladies and gents.
PS. Here's that trailer, if you have no idea what I sat through.
Tonight I have felt the unending pressure to write something. I climbed into bed at 8:15 and it weighed on my chest, and I have chosen to submit. It's the opposite of writer's block, it's more like... well, the basic instinct to breathe.
I've been reading a lot lately.
By that I mean, I have read 11 trilogies, 5 series and 3 stand alone books in the last three months.
yes, that's right. 53 books in 12 weeks, unless I missed one.
And you see, the problem with reading such great works of art, and do not be mistaken, they are brilliant skillfully crafted pieces, is you have all these great words drifting about in your head. You start to send texts with "acquiesce" and "mediocrity" in them to your mother. You begin to notice that you are completely dissatisfied with monosyllabic words when there are so many greater synonyms to be utilized. You find yourself wondering how to slide words like "plethora" into normal conversation.
It is because of this I write: the parade of particularly pleasant vocables have turned into a palaver of synonyms consistently streaming through my head, begging to be released.
so it will be, tonight.
I am uncertain of what I will be writing about. The obvious choice is the reading material I've been keeping company with/ However, I find that task to be monumental and daunting, considering the mountains of paper I've been making my way through.
I could, perhaps, choose to besmirch a certain two timing trollop... Alas, no. I do not have the patience, nor do I want to sink that low.
But you should know my patience and trust in others has worn thin.
I've toyed around with a singularly splendid writing prompt, however... I haven't completely decided how to piece together the individualized parts of a whole. Possibly in the near future.
I have considered posting a rather morose poem I managed to compose at the height of an anxiety attack, though I have noticed that many people prefer to pretend that all is well with the world and those types of things go largely ignored.
I decided not to write about my children and our adventures tonight, as they are rather well documented on social media. I choose not to disclose my current flirtationship for the opposite reason.
Where does that leave me? With the same mundane posts of the past. 5 Things, Random things, Past events.
But none of those things seem particularly correct for tonight... Oh, tonight. I want to set the world on fire! Oh wait, no. That's Josh Abbott, not me.
I don't know what to write about tonight. Isn't that funny? I have written hundreds of words but really said nothing, other than I don't know what to write about. Not much has been exceptional, one way or another. Nothing devastating or elating has occurred in the recent past. Nothing extremely exciting or boring will be happening soon.
Well...
Except for HALLOWEEN.
however, I do not have my children for Halloween, and so nothing incredibly exciting will happen then, either.
The fact that I am apathetic about my current situation has become painfully clear to me in the last two minutes.
Lovely.
On that note, since I have nothing particularly invigorating to write, and my computer is pressuring me to update it, I will desist for the evening.
Thank you for reading this notably unnoticeable blog.
I sincerely wish for you all to have a brilliant week.
The man who hates me put me in a crate and stuck me in the car of some woman. She let me lose in her room and I immediately found my new super secret hiding space. She spent a while looking for me and started looking things up on her phone like "new cat is hiding" and "is it normal for cats to hide for hours." I know, because I can hear her talking to her "okay google."
Friday.
I can hear that woman looking for me. Ha! She opened a can of tuna to lure me out of my super secret hiding place. It'll never happen. I'm a great hider.
PS. She keeps calling me Minerva.
Saturday.
I am really hungry... Oh shit she found my super secret hiding place! Abandon the sock drawer! Run away! She almost scared the shit out of me, since I haven't been able to get to my litter box undetected.
Sunday.
I snuck out early this morning and ate all the tuna & cat food. She never even saw me, because she was sleeping. Maybe later I will allow her to touch me.
Monday.
I let the woman scratch my ears last night. She was so thrilled. Idiot. I tricked her into putting the book down & to scratch me instead. And just for amusement, I bit her hands all night when they stopped scratching me. I don't care that she was sleeping. Oh, and there are loud tiny humans here. Luckily, I found a hole cut into the wall by the plumbers to service the pipes, and I can now navigate my way to under the bathtub. No one can reach me here. Not even those tiny humans.
Tuesday.
I have decided to explore the rest of the house a little more tonight. I snuck out the door while the woman was in the bathroom, hahaha. Later, I met the resident dog at 3 am and was so afraid, I climbed up the air conditioner and ended up in the attic. The dog will never catch me now. Stupid dog.
Wednesday.
I realized today that I cannot get down from the attic. And my woman is trying to tempt me to emerge from my new secret hiding space with wet cat food, but I just can't make it down. I'll keep quiet... for now.
Thursday.
I showed a different taller woman my face to let her know I'm in the attic. She pulled me out of the attic despite my objections of being held. Despite my physical molestation I suffered through, I ate all the cat food and am now being scratched behind the ears again. Even by the tiny humans. They're all suckers.
I'm happily curled up on my woman's chest, preventing her from actually reading the book she's holding. That's all for tonight... or is it?
Oh yes, I'm one of the people who unabashedly states that she's on Tinder. It's true.
And I'm freaking hilarious.
Let me tell you, the running dialogue in my head is amusing to say the least. I will ask opinions from people around me (my baby cousin is one of them) and then sit there and swipe left a zillion times in a row.
Why?
Let me tell you reasons I've actually swiped left (said no way)
oh no, your name is not "Big Pimpin"
you look like you're twelve
why are you holding that fish? Not impressed.
ALL OF YOUR PICTURES ARE GROUPS. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WHERE'S WALDO.
your name is Norman
why are you taking pictures in the gym. stop it.
who are all these women in your pictures?
hahaha, it says right here you're actually 17. LIAR.
you look homeless
you are not cute
you look creepy
your about me says you're looking for "fun"
what does that mean, "a partner in crime but not a partner for life?" No.
you have more jewelry on than I do.
none of your pictures show me your face
you are not heath ledger
why are you surfing in every single one of your pictures, we are in the desert
you're not even from here.
you're old
you're dating my friend
you're married to my friend's friend.
you wrote you're married but looking for fun on your profile
my brothers name is Kyle
you are shorter than me
you're wearing a Cowboys jersey
you are taking selfies in front of a floral shower curtain
you won't swipe right on me cuz I'm fat.
your smile is murder-y
you are cuter than me.
dang it you're a smoker
reasons why I've swiped right (said okay)
oh look you have a cute dog!
you are tallllllll
riding a horse, yes.
look how cute you are with that tiny child!
YOU'RE A WHOVIAN
I like your shirt
you said you just want to buy me tacos and touch my butt.
yo,u sir, are driving a jeep
your eyes are pretty
hahaha you're funny, okay
I bet you have a cute butt.
Harry Potter marathons? I'm in.
you are wearing a bowtie
I think you might be a whovian...
OMG TATTOOS.
I like your hair
you're cute
I also love Netflix
oh man, you look so good with that guitar.
cowboy hats are a yes
I think you could probably pick me up
cheesy pick up line for the win
you're reading a book in that picture
what does that even mean? okay, I hope we match because I gotta ask you about that.
you're British? Why are you in Odessa? Let me love you?
hahaha, that's a Will Ferrell Quote
you are wearing a tigger costume and that's great
you are holding a cat
you are holding a CAMERA! We should go shoot together.
My daughter is going to lad & lassie camp tomorrow.
Honestly, I have no clue what it is.
I do know that my momma signed her up for it, though.
So earlier this evening, when I was doing laundry my mom told me Xiaden would need her one piece.
Honestly, I don't know where this one piece came from. Probably in a welcome box of hand-me-downs. I put her in it when I can't find her (very tasteful) tankini.
But something struck a cord in me, and my poor mother got the backlash.
Why does my daughter need to wear a one piece?
So I ask my mom, who simply states that it's the rules.
But why? Do the boys have to wear shirts?
Obviously, she didn't know, because Kamden isn't old enough to go to Lad & Lassie camp, so she paid no attention to the boys' rules.
But I, being the difficult child my mother loves and tolerates, am incensed.
My mom tells me its fine, just send her in the two piece & a shirt.
My six year old girl just had a Jurassic World birthday party two weeks ago. I just bought her a dinosaur backpack. Something I knew would raise eyebrows because it's seen as a "boy" thing. Even Kamden tried to tell me it was a "boy" thing. I don't know who taught Kamden the entire "boy" and "girl" things were recognized, but that irked me at the time too. So I calmly explained to him that he can keep playing with the My Little Ponies & watching Princess Sophia even though everyone else thinks they're "girl" things, just like Xiaden can love velociraptors, even though they're "boy" things.
And it was as simple as that.
The only time I told my son anything was a "girl" thing is when he wants to wear bright red lipstick somewhere in public. I let him wear it at home, because he just likes to leave his kissy prints on everyone's cheeks. Just like Xiaden & Rhyssie. But when we go into a grocery store & I'm rocking my red lips, I will either put chapstick on him, or I will kiss his cheek so he's still sporting the red.
That's the only time.
Because I want all of my children to know that they're equal. They're all able to do and like whatever they want.
By telling me to cover up my daughter's bare midriff, you are telling me to hide the swim suit she loves. You are telling me to teach my daughter that she can't show her belly, that it's secret.
By telling me to do this, you are sexualizing a 6 year old girl's body. By telling me to do this, you are showing her that the boys don't have to wear shirts, but she does. By telling me to do this, you are showing my baby girl that her body is inappropriate.
This is where sexism starts. In Kindergarten, apparently.
Other Examples can be found here, here & on google.
I know I sound crazy.
I know they're just the rules.
but I want to know why, precisely, they are the rules.
I have written a dozen different titles to this blog.
two dozen different first sentences.
To say I am scattered is a gross understatement.
I have had a bad day.
A bad week, to be honest.
A bad year, to be melodramatic, which face it, sometimes I am.
Right now, I am.
And in this blog, this insignificant thing, I want to thank you.
thank you for sticking with me through this.
thank you for forgiving my random breaks of days that turn into weeks that turn into months of silence from this blog.
thank you for rejoicing with me in my happy times
and thank you for consoling me in my worse.
thank you for giving me encouragement when I know I need it.
and even more when I think I don't.
Thank you reading through my anxiety written posts and simply saying nothing because you don't know what else to say.
Thank you for reading through my random things and finding one thing you like about it.
Thank you for being my silent supporters.
But there are people I need to thank directly.
Thank you Shelly, for being the voice of the logical side of my brain.
Thank you Momma, for not judging me for pouring booze into the left over fruit punch.
Thank you Steffie, for judging me when I need to be judged.
Thank you Mema, for being my pillar.
Thank you Cody, for still making fun of me when I cry because you know how embarrassed I am for crying in the first place.
Thank you Jenna, for searching for jobs for me when I didn't have time to do it myself.
Thank you Destiny, for buying me that salad last Wednesday,
Thank you Auntie Ran, for being my reading buddy,
Thank you Katie, for being a single mom with me and understanding my plight.
Thank you Kyle, for being all protective-y even though I hate it, because I know you care even though you'd punch me every single time you saw me... if you could.
Thank you Anderson, for actually caring. (Shut up Shelly.)
Thank you Tylor for babysitting when I just need to go to the store with out my kids.
Thank you Justin, for being the most accepting person I've ever met.
Thank you Shayne, for giving me my family and the opportunity to become my own person.
Thank you Jonathan, for giving me Xiaden.
Thank you Bi Sheng, for inventing the printing press.
Thats it for now, I think. I know half the people I've thanked won't read this. The other half will read it and think "aw" but they still won't know how much I need(ed) them.
And I do need them. Because I am having a bad day.
You know, when I tell you 5 things I like.
It's good fun.
Shall we start? Fantastic!
1. This eyeliner
I'm telling you, this shizz is magic. Goes on beautifully, stays on all day. It's amazing. I like it way better than liquid eyeliner & pencils seem to fade after a few hours. plus, this stuff is like 3 dollars. I got mine from a 7-11. Lol. It's my favorite :D
2. These bridesmaid dresses
I already told shelly she's gonna be rocking one. <3 I'll have my imaginary wedding in winter just so all of my friends will wear the long shinny dresses
3. This video
the song is so catchy! I love it. And all the stupid cute people. UGH they're so cute I CAN'T STAND IT.
4. These books
OMG they're so good. I didn't think I'd like them and sometimes I just wanted to shake girlfriends head off. But its alright. I just bought the next one.
I meet people on various apps (meet me, tinder, whisper, etc) and I use kik to talk to them. I talk to people all over. actually. Itally, England, Scotland, Canada, Iowa. Kik is an internet texting app, so I don't have to give them my number and I maintain privacy. Good fun.
Until someone posts your ID on a sex website and you get literally 83 pictures of penises from around the globe. It was insane.
I don't understand what that person gained from doing that.
I mean... satisfaction? I think not. It was overwhelming and slightly hilarious. Especially my comments back to them. I am quite witty and clever ;) Some of them immediately apologized. Some guys never responded. Some struck up casual conversation, as if I had not seen their naughty bits moments earlier.
This isn't the first time this has happened.
but hey, if you just enjoy screwing with me for the sake of screwing with me, you should know... it doesn't work :)
I suggest you give it up, though.
Because eventually I'll figure it out, and as I have stated before...
I'm witty and clever.
I think I have been fantastically successful in juggling my first year of college and work and three kids and insanity.
I failed my first class, though.
Math. In case you were wondering.
anyone surprised?
well, lets think,
The last math class I took was 7 years ago.
I started with business math.
at 8AM
where there were a ton of things I had never even heard of before
and I went to North Carolina and returned to a test over the content I had missed.
there were only 5 tests.
so only 5 grades.
then the final.
so.... that sucks.
when I found that the final was 25% of our grade.
I did the math & I would have needed a 125 on the final just to get a 70 in the class
you do the math & I'm sure you'll find there was no way in the world that I could have made any where near a 100.
so I failed that pretty terribly...
other than that I passed everything!
Midland College may be offering Sign Language 3 next semester so I might do that :) I'm on the job hunt, too. So I am completing my FAFSA & signing up for a couple on line classes. Hopefully I find a new job. If not, then I'll sign up for day classes too. good fun.
but I didn't talk too much about it all.
I had to sit next to my boss for many many hours.
I ate a looooot of good food.
I hung out in more bars then I knew existed in Raleigh.
I met some really kick ass guys.
Experienced some interesting cocktails
Learned a lot.
A LOT.
Because there were 16 hours of classes.
I took like 20 pages of notes.
and I didn't spend a penny.
it was lovely.
but not so much for my momma, who was here with my kids. lol.
we're all friends on facebook. Seriously, I think we were all friends by the time my plane landed back in Midland.
