Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I Accidentally Went On A Date With A Man in His Sixties

Hey now, for all of you that are freaking out about that title (ahem, Mema) I just want to point out that I did not purposefully date someone nearly three times my age. But the story makes me laugh.

So, tonight, I was meant to have a date to watch a movie called Crimson Peak. However, after purchasing tickets and getting half way through the line to get popcorn, my totally age appropriate date was unable to stay for personal reasons.
But, well, I had a sitter and the tickets were already paid for... So I stayed.

I bought my own popcorn & went to my seat. As I sat down, a man next to me turns to me and asks "Are you expecting company? I think I might have the wrong row."
I shrugged, and simply said "he couldn't make it in, so you're fine" and started watching the previews.
Apparently the conversation wasn't quite over.

He tells me, "His loss. My girlfriend wouldn't come. She watched the trailer and had to close her eyes!" And I said something along the lines of "oh, I didn't watch the trailer." That's when I suspected that I had made a gross mistake. I'm a pansy. I just saw the name "Tom Hiddleston" and said yes...

He says to me "ha! I asked my coworkers to come, and they both said no too, so I'm going it alone."
Oh dear, Christ. I should get up and leave now. But do I? No. No, I laugh! and I settle back into my chair.
He says "Man, I hope I don't scream. It's gonna be good though."
Shit. I make a mental note to watch every movie trailer I ever intend to see ever. Who cares about Tom Hiddleston and his beautiful face. I'm going to die in here.

The movie starts, and he talks through it, but not enough to be annoying. He comments on plot twists and chuckles every time I jump in my seat or gasp. It's great, feels like watching a movie with Kyle. Tylor & Mom are pansies like me.

I only tried to crawl out of my chair once.
But at the end of the movie, he says "Well, we didn't scream." And I laughed, and say "Oh, but I sure did try to run away." and this guy tells me "yeah, I noticed. But hey, thanks for being my date tonight darlin'. I have to watch a scary movie every year around Halloween to make sure I still got it in me."
And I'm thoroughly amused. I wanna be this guy when I grow up

I tell him as we walk out "Well, I'm gonna go home and watch a few hours of Disney princesses before I can go to sleep tonight." and he just laughs the entire way down the hall. He says "you got a good system there girl. Maybe I'll see ya next year."

and awkward Brittany waves and says "I sure hope so!"

I'm just that cool, ladies and gents.

PS. Here's that trailer, if you have no idea what I sat through. 



Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Oh, Tonight

Tonight I have felt the unending pressure to write something. I climbed into bed at 8:15 and it weighed on my chest, and I have chosen to submit. It's the opposite of writer's block, it's more like... well, the basic instinct to breathe.

I've been reading a lot lately.
By that I mean, I have read 11 trilogies, 5 series and 3 stand alone books in the last three months.
yes, that's right. 53 books in 12 weeks, unless I missed one.
And you see, the problem with reading such great works of art, and do not be mistaken, they are brilliant skillfully crafted pieces, is you have all these great words drifting about in your head. You start to send texts with "acquiesce" and "mediocrity" in them to your mother. You begin to notice that you are completely dissatisfied with monosyllabic words when there are so many greater synonyms to be utilized. You find yourself wondering how to slide words like "plethora" into normal conversation.
It is because of this I write: the parade of particularly pleasant vocables have turned into a palaver of synonyms consistently streaming through my head, begging to be released.
so it will be, tonight.

I am uncertain of what I will be writing about. The obvious choice is the reading material I've been keeping company with/ However, I find that task to be monumental and daunting, considering the mountains of paper I've been making my way through.

I could, perhaps, choose to besmirch a certain two timing trollop... Alas, no. I do not have the patience, nor do I want to sink that low.
But you should know my patience and trust in others has worn thin.

I've toyed around with a singularly splendid writing prompt, however... I haven't completely decided how to piece together the individualized parts of a whole. Possibly in the near future.

I have considered posting a rather morose poem I managed to compose at the height of an anxiety attack, though I have noticed that many people prefer to pretend that all is well with the world and those types of things go largely ignored.

I decided not to write about my children and our adventures tonight, as they are rather well documented on social media. I choose not to disclose my current flirtationship for the opposite reason.

Where does that leave me? With the same mundane posts of the past. 5 Things, Random things, Past events.

But none of those things seem particularly correct for tonight... Oh, tonight. I want to set the world on fire!
Oh wait, no. That's Josh Abbott, not me.

I don't know what to write about tonight. Isn't that funny? I have written hundreds of words but really said nothing, other than I don't know what to write about. Not much has been exceptional, one way or another. Nothing devastating or elating has occurred in the recent past. Nothing extremely exciting or boring will be happening soon.
Well...
Except for HALLOWEEN.
however, I do not have my children for Halloween, and so nothing incredibly exciting will happen then, either.
The fact that I am apathetic about my current situation has become painfully clear to me in the last two minutes.
Lovely.

On that note, since I have nothing particularly invigorating to write, and my computer is pressuring me to update it, I will desist for the evening.

Thank you for reading this notably unnoticeable blog.
I sincerely wish for you all to have a brilliant week.